


From the Ashes

by Skywinder



Series: Skyblaze Chronicles [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Gen, M/M, Mech Preg, Mild Sexual Content, Original Character(s), Redemption, Slash, Suicidal Thoughts, Transformer Sparklings, Transformers: The Movie - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-05-17 22:10:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5887228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skywinder/pseuds/Skywinder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following Autobot City, Starscream and Skyfire find themselves in an unexpected situation.  But then a single twist of fate changes everything, and Starscream must face an uncertain future alone.</p><p>Character Death in chapter 1</p><p>Final chapter completed during NaNoWriMo 2016.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the actual starting point for the Skyblaze Chronicles. Due to some of the content (motions to tags above), this will be the highest rated story in the series. Please do mind the tags and warnings.
> 
> I do promise that all future stories will not be rated quite as high.
> 
> Also, for those who subscribe to me and follow this fandom, I apologize for the earlier alert. I hit Post Chapter instead of Edit.
> 
> And now, without further ado, I introduce you all to From the Ashes.

* * *

_"En ma Fin gît mon Commencement..." (In my end is my beginning...)_ \- Mary, Queen of Scots

* * *

_ **Cybertron: Polyhex ruins near Darkmount** _

Skyfire shot a look at the tall blue building rising above the ruins. _Hope everything's all right_ , he thought as he stayed hidden in the shadows of the building close to the chasm he and Starscream had been meeting at for just over half an orn now.

The Valkyrie couldn't help but be concerned. If Starscream had been caught...He shook his head. _Primus, let him be all right._

About half an orn ago, he'd arrived on Cybertron to visit his friends in the Autobots, knowing from previous contacts that they'd been stationed on the moons there, but hadn't been able to find them. Every base he'd visited had seemed like it was empty, abandoned. Fearing what might have happened to them, he'd contacted the one mech who might know the answer: his once companion Starscream.

The Seeker had been startled to hear from him, since even though they'd reconciled their old friendship some stellar cycles back, they'd been careful about how often they would communicate. Both were all too aware what could happen if Starscream was caught speaking with him, a defector and an Autobot. But in the end, Starscream had agreed to meet with him as soon as he could get away. He gave Skyfire the coordinates to the location he was now standing in.

When the jet had arrived, Skyfire could remember being disturbed by the blank look on his face and in his optics. He asked the Seeker if he was all right.

He'd been admittedly startled when Starscream had laughed, but the laugh had seemed hollow to his ears. He couldn't help feeling relieved when it stopped.

And that had been when Starscream had told him. Told him about the Autobots, the shuttle, Autobot City, what he'd allowed done to his Trinemates, and _had_ done to Megatron...

Skyfire wouldn't deny it. He'd felt sick, and he knew it had shown on his face when the story was completed, judging by the way Starscream had flinched and looked away...

* * *

_"Stop looking at me like that, just stop!" the tri-color whispered after a moment, off-lining his optics._

_"What do you expect, Starscream? After what you just told me?" Skyfire whispered heatedly. "They were my friends! You knew that...!" His voice trailed off, and he shook his head. A part of him wanted to rage at the Seeker and walk away, but at the same time, he couldn't help feeling worried by the lack of emotion that Starscream was displaying; how_ dead _he seemed...He would have thought Starscream would have been at least pleased about becoming leader, but then again..._

_Then again, Starscream had always seemed to avoid that particular subject whenever they spoke of late..._

_Before he could go down that train of thought any further, Starscream nodded and replied, in a louder voice, "I know! Primus help me, you think I_ don't _know that?!" He on-lined his optics again and turned his head to face his friend, and Skyfire noted the desperation in his optics. Starscream shuddered. "I know...," his voice once more lowered to a whisper, and he bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Skyfire."_

_Skyfire frowned now. Starscream smiled, but it didn't reach his optics. "And it's funny...I killed Megatron, and...I didn't feel anything." He raised his head. "All this time wanting to take him down, I finally do it and I feel nothing." He shook his head now in disbelief._

_Skyfire didn't know what to say to that._

_"I haven't claimed leadership, Sky," he whispered after another moment had passed in silence. "It just doesn't seem worth it now. Ever since I killed him, the idea of being the Decepticon leader doesn't seem to matter anymore. I've just...been trying to keep things together in my status as Second in Command."_

_Skyfire took a step forward. "Starscream..." There was mild shock and disbelief in his tone._

_Starscream just bowed his head again, and his arms fell loosely at his sides. His wings slumped. "Maybe I deserve your anger, now that I think about it," he said, still in a whisper. "So much death, destruction, betrayal...And what has it gotten me?" A bitter laugh. "Maybe it's only fitting that I'm alone."_

_He began to turn away. "I need to get back, Skyfire. Acid Storm will be wondering where I am if I'm gone too long. You don't have to come back here, now that you know."_

_Skyfire would never be able to explain the impulse that drove him to act at that moment. Perhaps it was the way the jet had spoken after his confession, or perhaps it was the sheer depression he could hear in the other mech's voice, but all Skyfire knew was that this friend needed him. As upset as he was about hearing about his other friends, Starscream was here and needed him right now. He lunged forward to grab Starscream's arm._

_Startled, Starscream turned around to face him. "Skyfire! What are you...?"_

_Before he could get another word out, Skyfire leaned down and kissed him..._

* * *

Skyfire felt his engines warm at the memory of what had happened next...How after his initial shock, the Seeker had responded to the kiss and deepened it, throwing his arms around the Valkyrie's neck and pulling him close...And then, Skyfire wasn't sure who had instigated it, they'd moved into the shelter of the closest building and within moments, both had found themselves on the floor of that ruin, speaking in a language as old as time.

Even now, Skyfire could still hear the small gasps and mewls the Seeker made as the Valkyrie rubbed his fingers through transformation seams, over his cockpit, then onto his ailerons; could still feel the way their tongues had warred for dominance as Starscream pulled him into another deep kiss...Feel how _warm_ Starscream had been as he'd reached up and begun his own exploring...

Then time had seemed to lose all meaning as both mechs lost themselves in each other. Neither had spoken aloud, as if afraid to break whatever spell had come over them. Near the end, as Skyfire began to feel himself building toward overload, he opened his chestplates to reveal his Spark. Starscream, seeming to understand, did the same, then arched his back as Skyfire lowered his own Spark to meet the Seeker's.

It had proven to create one of the most powerful overloads Skyfire had ever had, knocking him completely off-line.

They both came to lying on their sides, Starscream curled into Skyfire, his engine purring. For the next few kliks, they just lay there, Skyfire rubbing his hands up and down the Seeker's back. Then Starscream's optics had dimmed as a comm. call had come through. Then he'd told Skyfire he had to leave, that Acid Storm had needed his help with something. They'd reluctantly let each other go, and Starscream had cleaned himself as best he could before leaving. But just as he was heading for the door, Skyfire had called out, and told him that if he ever needed an ear, he'd be willing to listen. For the first time since they'd met earlier, Starscream threw him a more happy smile.

Following that cycle, they had met at least four times now in the just over half-orn since their coupling, Skyfire reflected. But they hadn't interfaced again, just talked. Not that Skyfire would have been unwilling to interface, but he didn't want the Seeker to think he was using him for just that. Even with all the time and misery between them, he could still remember the feelings he had had once for the Seeker, the feelings he _still_ had, and he wanted to be sure that Starscream felt the same way before initiating interface again. His response to Skyfire indicated he _might_ , but the Valkyrie didn't want to force things...

The shuttle was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of running feet close by. He pulled himself back into the shadows, wondering who it was. Starscream would surely be flying here, he knew.

Yet less than a klik later, he was startled by the sight of his friend and lover into the street in front of him, stopping only when he reached the chasm and looking around with a panicked expression on his face.

"Skyfire! Skyfire, are you here?" the Seeker called as he looked around. His voice sounded frantic, the Valkyrie thought. Scared, too. Skyfire frowned. That wasn't like the Seeker.

Concerned now, stepped out of the shadows and walked towards the chasm. "I'm right here, Starscream. What is it?" he said as he came up behind the other flier.

Starscream whirled around to face Skyfire. Then, to the shuttle's surprise, the jet lunged for him and pulled him into an embrace.

Skyfire hugged him back, but wasn't sure what to make of this behavior. Even more so when he felt Starscream start to tremble in his arms.

Letting go of Starscream, he pulled himself lightly out of the Seeker's hold, and took an arm, leading him over to the edge of the chasm. The Seeker didn't fight him, but the trembling seemed to become more pronounced under the larger mech's grip.

He turned to face the other mech, who was now looking at the ground. "Starscream," the Valkyrie said gently but firmly, "look at me."

Slowly, the tri-color lifted his head to look at Skyfire. When he met his lover's optics, Skyfire thought he saw fear there. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, now feeling more than just a little worried by Starscream's behavior.

Starscream looked down again, then back up, still shaking.

When he spoke again, he said two words that Skyfire hadn't expected.

"I'm Carrying."

* * *

_ **Darkmount** _

Acid Storm moved quickly through the halls of the base. _Primus damn it!_

A quarter joor ago, three strange mechs bearing the Decepticon symbol had appeared just outside the doorway of their base: A blue and white mech calling himself Scourge, a blue and purple mech calling himself Cyclonus and a completely purple mech who went by the designation Galvatron. All three were horned and introduced themselves as Unicronians. Then they announced they were here to take command of the Decepticons and lead them in a battle to completely wipe out the Autobots and destroy the Matrix.

Some had cheered, but others seemed disturbed by the sight of a mech who resembled their deactivated leader so strongly. And a few seemed uncomfortable as regards destroying the Matrix. Not that said few were overly religious, but they preferred not to take any chances, just in case.

Then Galvatron had demanded to know where their current leader was, and had backhanded Rumble when he said they didn't have one and accused him of lying.

Then Soundwave (curse that fragger to the Pit) had said that if he was looking for Starscream, he'd gone out for a flight about a quarter-joor before. Galvatron had stormed off then to look for the Seeker. 

Acid Storm had no idea why Soundwave had done that, as he _had_ to know that Starscream hadn't claimed leadership following Megatron's death. It wasn't a secret, after all, and had surprised more than a few there. Only the Rainmaker knew the reason behind it. And very likely that other mech Starscream had been heading out to see.

He'd gotten curious about the near constant flights the other jet had been taking and followed him once, which certainly hadn't been an easy feat, considering how fast the other jet flew. But when he'd found Starscream, he'd seen him curled up into a tall shuttle mech. Acid Storm then noticed the Autobot symbol on the other's chest and guessed who he was. He'd been about to step out and deal with the situation as Decepticon law demanded, but then he saw the smile on his Commander's face. A smile that he hadn't seen in Primus knew how many vorns. Then he remembered how much calmer Starscream seemed to have become in the last few day cycles.

He'd slipped away then, and left them alone. If this shuttle was helping their Commander in some way, then he wouldn't interfere. He'd confided what he'd seen to his Trinemates Ion and Nova, and informed the Triplechanger guards to just allow Starscream to come and go as he pleased, and not challenge him. All had been startled by his words, but each one of them had complied, and none had brought it up again.

But now, thanks to Soundwave, Starscream was going to get caught...And Acid Storm didn't think he was going to get out of there, barring a miracle of Primus.

Acid Storm had been unable to reach him to warn him, as he'd shut off his comm. at some point as he'd fled the base about a joor before. So using the excuse he wanted to check on the perimeter guards, the Rainmaker headed off to see if there was a way to help his Commander.

_::Acid Storm to Astrotrain!::_

_::Yeah, yeah. I'm here.::_

_::We have a problem.::_

* * *

Skyfire just stared at Starscream in shock for a klik after he spoke. "You're what?"

"You heard me," Starscream whispered, his body still shaking from head to foot. "I'm Carrying. Hook said I'm Carrying." The fear in his optics was all too apparent now. "I haven't been feeling too well since...So I went to see him about a joor ago. He did a scan. _Primus_ , Skyfire. What are we going to _do_?"

Skyfire continued to stare blankly for a moment, unable to believe what he'd heard. _A Sire...I'm going to be a Sire._ Under other circumstances, he wouldn't have minded the thought. It had been something he'd always wondered about, being a parent, but he'd never really expected it to happen. He'd been too focused on his career, wanting to establish himself before approaching Starscream to offer courtship. Then had come his accident, followed by his awakening to a war, and Starscream so altered from what he'd known...

And then, he'd never been able to form any romantic attachments among the Autobots. Certainly, he'd had friends, but nothing more than that. Then he'd left Earth shortly after reconciling his friendship with Starscream.

Their interface hadn't been intended, but it _had_ happened. Skyfire had no regrets for what he'd done, and he was sure Starscream didn't either, not by the way he'd responded then or acted towards the Valkyrie when they met afterwards.

But it seemed they hadn't been as careful as they should have been, and now they needed to deal with the consequences.

Unaware of his lover's thoughts, Starscream leaned his head and arms against Skyfire, hiding his face from the other mech. "What are we going to do?" he repeated desperately, still whispering. 

Skyfire pulled himself out of his musings as Starscream leaned into him. He smiled sadly at the distress in the Seeker's voice.

Yes, they needed to deal with the consequences, but first things first. He needed to calm Starscream down.

The shuttle reached out and rubbed the other fliers arms in a soothing motion, murmuring as he did so, "It's all right, Starscream. It's _okay_. We'll figure something out, I promise."

The jet didn't answer and for a klik or two, they just stood in that position, Skyfire just rubbing up and down Starscream's arms, neither saying another word, both lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, as Starscream stopped shaking, Skyfire broke the silence. "Are you okay now, Starscream?"

His first reply was soft, half-hysterical laughter. Then: "No, no I'm not, Skyfire." Starscream looked up at the Valkyrie's face. "This can't be hidden. There'll be too many questions." He shuddered and looked down again. "It's well-known I haven't interfaced with anyone. Haven't in _vorns_. Even if Hook doesn't say anything, a growing Sparkling can't be hidden easily. And the war is still going on, even with both leaders dead..." His voice trailed off, and he lifted his head so that he was looking at the shuttle's chest. "What are we going to do?" he asked yet again.

Skyfire frowned, but before he could reply, the sound of anti-gravs filled the air, followed by a crunch of metal as the unknown being landed nearby. The two of them froze. Skyfire felt Starscream tense as both turned their heads to look at the new arrival standing in front of them.

Skyfire could say honestly he'd never seen this mech before (though he couldn't deny there was something strangely familiar about him). He was a heavily built purple mech. On his head was an oddly shaped helmet, sporting three horns, one at the front and two on the sides. And on his arm....Skyfire suddenly felt a twinge of fear as he realized what he was seeing on the arm the mech had stretched out towards them...

A cannon. A cannon that was very like the one that Megatron...

Before he could complete that thought, the mech smirked, then said in a cold voice: "Well, this was easier than I expected."

Then, without another word, he began to transform...

Skyfire glanced quickly at Starscream, who just seemed to be staring at that cannon, a horrified expression on his face. _No._

Skyfire knew there would be no escape from this...That this mech, whoever he was, was going to kill them both. Even if he tried fleeing with Starscream, they wouldn't get far...

And the Sparkling...Their Creation would die, too.

Unless...

Skyfire felt a twinge of regret now. _I'm sorry I never told you what you meant to me, Starscream_ , he thought sadly.

Hoping his bulky size would shield the Seeker from the strange mech's sight and fool him, Skyfire swung Starscream out in front of him, over the chasm.

Looking at his lover, he smiled and whispered, "Stay safe, both of you."

Then he let Starscream fall...

He never felt the energy beam rip through him.


	2. Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirge's Crypt Master title was an idea that was borrowed from [grayseeker](http://archiveofourown.org/users/grayseeker) and used with her permission. She was also helpful to me in working through a couple of sticking points here. Thanks much, 'seeker!

* * *

_Parting is all we know of heaven,_  
_And all we need of hell._ \- Emily Dickinson, _My Life Closed Twice Before Its Close_

 _"There's no way out of this dark place, no hope, no future"_ \- Phil Collins, _No Way Out_

* * *

_** Polyhex Ruins ** _

Galvatron smirked viciously as he watched the mech in front of him gray and crumble. _Fools, both of them, to think they could escape._ There was no doubt in his mind that the shuttle was about to launch, carrying off the traitor who sought to call himself the leader of the Decepticons.

There is no leader but me, he thought cruelly.

Without sparing another thought for the pile of ashes in front of him, he activated his anti-gravs and returned to Darkmount.

It was time to finish off the Autobots once and for all.

* * *

At the bottom of the chasm where he lay on his side, wing bent under him, Starscream barely heard the sound of the anti-gravs as they moved away. His mind was reeling, replaying the events of the last few kliks over and over in his head...

_"Are you okay now, Starscream?"_

_Soft, half-hysterical laughter was all the Seeker could make by way of reply at first, before managing to finally choke out an actual reply: "No, no I'm not, Skyfire." Starscream looked up at the Valkyrie's face. "This can't be hidden. There'll be too many questions." He shuddered and looked down at the ground. "It's well-known I haven't interfaced with anyone. Haven't in vorns. Even if Hook doesn't say anything, a growing Sparkling can't be hidden easily. And the war is still going on, even with both leaders dead..." His voice trailed off, and he lifted his head so that he was looking at the shuttle's chest. "What are we going to do?" he found himself asking yet again._

_Before his friend now lover could reply, the sound of anti-gravs filled the air, followed by a crunch of metal as the unknown being landed nearby. The two of them froze. Starscream tensed in Skyfire's grip as both turned their heads to look at the new arrival standing in front of them..._

The jet keened softly and began to curl into himself as the next few memories rushed by as if in a blur...

 _The strange horned mech (his face looked like Megatron, but that's_ impossible _...) aiming his weapon at both he and Skyfire..._

_A soft, sad smile._

_"Stay safe, both of you."_

_Falling..._

_The purple energy beam appearing just over his head as it cut through..._

_A graying, crumbling form..._

_**No!** _

Starscream keened again, no longer caring if anyone nearby could hear him.

_Why? Why did you do that, Skyfire?_

He'd never meant for Skyfire to die. Never wanted that to happen to his best friend, his _lover_...He'd just gone to tell Skyfire about what Hook had told him, that he was unexpectedly Sparked up from their interface. He'd been scared to the Pit, knowing the questions it would raise among the other Decepticons since he hadn't taken a partner to his berth since about a few hundred vorns before they'd launched in the _Nemesis_. If anyone were to learn he'd been Sparked up by an Autobot, much less one who'd defected from the Decepticons, no matter how briefly the former Decepticon had been with them...

It would be a death sentence. It wouldn't matter what Starscream's rank was.

Which was why he'd gone looking for Skyfire. He needed to let him know they were both in danger, needed to have him help him figure out what to do about this unexpected event...

But he'd been careless when he'd fled the base, it seemed, and someone had noticed him heading out. Seen him and reported it...

Starscream shuddered and off-lined his optics.

_It should have been me._

It wouldn't have been any great loss if he had died, the Seeker felt. He'd wasted so much of his life in a pointless quest for the Decepticon leadership, killing or discrediting all those in his way, betraying most of those who'd ever put their trust in him, right up to his Trinemates, whom he'd allowed to be killed. No one would have truly cared if he'd deactivated...

Yet Skyfire apparently had still seen something to care about, even after everything Starscream had done to him on Earth. After everything he'd done to the shuttle's friends and comrades.

Even with as angry as he had to have been at his old friend and companion, Skyfire had forgiven him. He'd taken him in his arms, held him, made love to him (and it was, somehow Starscream knew it was love that he'd seen in the other mech's optics afterwards), talked to him, made him _feel_ again in a way he hadn't felt in thousands of vorns...

But now, Skyfire was gone from his life once more. This time forever.

It was all his fault, the tri-color knew.

If he hadn't gone looking for him, Skyfire would still be alive.

_It should have been me._

As if in response to that thought, there was a soft flutter against his Spark.

Starscream shuddered once more, knowing instinctively what that feeling was.

_The Newspark._

Only half an orn developed, the only thing remaining of Skyfire. The Seeker felt a new surge of grief rise up in him at the realization.

_I'm so sorry, Skyfire._

Starscream's optics came on-line once more, but he still couldn't bring himself to move. He remained in that curled-up position, ignoring the pain in his wing, staring at the wall with dimmed optics.

_It should have been me..._

* * *

_::Octane to Astrotrain.::_

_::Hey.::_

The gray and purple Triplechanger looked around the ruins a moment, kind of unnerved by the silence around him. Shaking his head, he continued. _::I got to the coordinates that you got from Acid.::_

_::And?::_

The transport mech shook his head. _::No one's here. Either they met in a different place this time, or I got beat here.::_

The voice on the other end cursed. _::Acid was afraid of that.::_ , Astrotrain replied grimly. _::And that weird mech calling himself Galvatron just got back. Don't like the look he had on his face.::_

 _::You want me to keep looking around or just come report in?::_ Octane asked. As one of the army's..."procurers"...it would probably be a good idea to present himself to whoever it was that took over the leadership that had been vacant since Megatron's death.

 _::Let me ask Acid::_ was the reply.

As Astrotrain disappeared from the Triplechangers' private link, Octane took another look around. It was a slagging isolated spot, the Triplechanger thought grimly. Perfect for private meetings if you didn't want anyone seeing what you were up to. Or to commit a killing without being seen...He shook his head at the dark thought. He certainly hadn't been expecting to be sent on _this_ assignment when he'd notified Astrotrain about five breems ago that he was back. Having heard of Megatron's death through a contact at Monacus, he decided it would be a good idea to present himself to Starscream, who'd most likely taken over by this point. He knew the Seeker wasn't fond of Swindle, so...

But when he'd let Astro and Blitz know he was back and asked if the new leader would be willing to meet with him, he'd been startled to hear that Starscream _hadn't_ claimed leadership, that the Decepticons were in somewhat of a state of disarray. And according to his comrades, no one but Acid Storm seemed to know why Starscream hadn't. Not only that, but Acid himself had given them some strange orders regarding Starscream as well.

It had been while the two were filling him in on the other details, including the arrival of a few strange mechs that had flown in while they were talking, that Acid Storm had broken in, demanding to talk to Astrotrain. Astro left the conversation to talk to the Vice-Air Commander. When he'd come back, his voice had been terse, telling him that one of those strange mechs (who called himself Galvatron, and Octane _really_ had wanted to snort at the pretentious name) had gone out gunning for Starscream, assuming him to be the leader in spite of being told otherwise.

SInce Octane had just arrived, and landed his ship far enough away from the base for it not to be seen yet, he'd volunteered to go looking for the SIC, in order to warn him.

But now that he'd arrived at the coordinates he'd been given, he was wondering if he'd sent himself on a fool's errand.

 _Nothing as far as the optic can...Wait a sec_ , he thought as his optics caught sight of something out of place at the edge of the chasm. _What the slagging Pit is that?_

Octane walked over and crouched down for a closer look. He squinted. _Is this...ash?_ That was strange. Ash came from burning organic items, and there were none of those to be found on Cybertron. He reached out to touch the pile...

And found himself falling over backwards as chunks of metal appeared under his fingertips. _PRIMUS SLAGGING PIT!_

He just stared at the pile of ash as the implications of what he'd just seen sank in. It was impossible...Mechs couldn't be reduced to ash...Molten lumps of metal, yeah, but not _this_...

Not to mention the ashes still felt pretty warm...

Octane was beginning to get a nasty feeling in his tanks.

Just then, his comm. link came back to life.

_::Astrotrain to Octane.::_

Unable to pull his optics away from the ash and metal pile, Octane replied. _::Octane here.::_

 _::Just heard back from Acid::_ , the other mech replied, his tone grim. _::He says that Galvatron just claimed he's killed our so-called leader and taking over.::_

Octane didn't reply for a moment as he gazed on those ashes and chunks of armor. _::I...I don't think he was lying, Astro::_ , he finally said when he could get his voice back. He transmitted an image of what he was looking at.

A strangled noise came over the comm. It wasn't often that one could disturb Astrotrain, but seeing the metal mixed in with ash apparently did the job, the purple and gray mech thought a little morbidly. _::What the Pit is THAT?::_ the other Triplechanger finally forced out.

 _::I'm thinking it was Starscream. And maybe the guy you said Acid saw with him. Pile's a big enough one::_ , Octane replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

There was silence on the other end for what seemed like a very long klik. _::I'll let Acid know what you found. He'll probably send Dirge over to collect the ashes::_ , the other Triplechanger said flatly, though Octane thought he could hear some disgust in the other mech's voice. The transport mech really couldn't blame him for that, if so. The sight was disturbing, and personally, Octane didn't know how Dirge managed to deal with things like this on a regular basis. But being as the Conehead was Crypt Master, Octane supposed he was used to it, regardless of whatever his personal feelings were over dealing with the dead.

For Octane's part, he'd prefer to deal with the living, thank you very much. Even if he did have to out-run some of those living beings sometimes.

 _::Hey, you still there?::_ Astrotrain's voice came back over the comm.

 _::Yeah. I'm still around::_ , Octane replied as he got back onto his feet..

_::Just sent the message to Acid, along with that image.::_

_::And?::_

_::Didn't respond yet, but if I were you, I'd lock down that ship of yours and head over to Darkmount to report in. Just in case our new_ leader _decides to take offense at anyone's absence.::_ The voice was sarcastic, but Octane thought he detected a slight trace of fear in his comrade's voice, and couldn't say he blamed him for it, not after what he'd just seen.

No one deserved that kind of fate, not even Starscream, for all he could be a glitch sometimes. And still less whoever it was that was with him. Wrong place, wrong time for that guy, he thought grimly.

He stood up slowly. _::Good idea. I'll be over there as soon as I can. Octane out.::_

As the comm. cut off, Octane turned on his scanners, wanting to make sure no one was around before he took off. The last thing he needed was someone spying on him right now, not to mention answering questions when he got to base about what he'd been doing there.

No way was he going to end up like either Starscream or that other guy.

His scanners pinged as they picked up a life sign.

_What the Pit?_

He double-checked the results.

They showed the same thing. _Picking up someone, but the signal is coming from...below?_ Octane thought, a puzzled expression appearing on his face. _But how can that...?_ The thought trailed off as his gaze caught sight of the chasm once more.

Octane wasn't sure he wanted to go in there. Primus only knew if it was an Autobot, Empty or something else that wouldn't be good for his life-span. But then again, maybe whoever was down there could tell him what had happened, and he could tell Acid Storm when he got to Darkmount.

 _Eh, what the Pit_ , he decided. He jumped into the chasm, and activated his anti-gravs...

* * *

_It should have been me._

The thought continued to circulate in Starscream's head as he lay on the ground.

He was now barely aware of anything beyond that thought. The only exception was the occasional brushing of the Newspark against his own.

That, and the self-hatred that was now starting to rise up inside.

Of all the lives he'd taken personally or had had an indirect hand in taking, never had one been so personal before. He'd never looked at the face of an actual friend and ended their life. Granted, he hadn't been the one who'd murdered Skyfire, but he'd been as responsible for it...

Skyfire had stayed for him, tried to help him...and Starscream had repaid him by leading that strange mech to him.

A poor return, as far as the Seeker was concerned. Skyfire shouldn't have had to pay for someone else's mistakes.

Of all the ways Primus could have chosen to punish him, he'd chosen the cruelest method of all.

Starscream shuddered.

"I'm sorry, Skyfire," he whispered, and now turned his face to the ground, wanting nothing more than to simply lay there until his systems gave out.

It would be fitting to die alone like this, he felt.

No one would know he was here, and if anyone stumbled across Skyfire's remains, they'd never think to connect them to the two of them, as no one had known they were meeting at this spot. Nor would they know who it had been.

No one would miss him, either. His kin were scattered to the universe, perhaps dead, for all he knew. Not to mention he knew very well how hated he was on both sides of the line. Few were left who were willing to put up with his presence anymore. Acid Storm and his Trine, perhaps one or two of the Triplechangers. Maybe even Dirge, as he seemed to enjoy games of strategy with him. But no one else would. Even his dead Trinemates had long ago given up on him. Everyone else who'd survived that battle on Earth, well...

 _They'll probably celebrate_ , he thought despondently. Wouldn't matter that he hadn't claimed leadership or made any attempt to lord it over them after Megatron had gone. He'd long since earned their contempt.

Yes, perhaps he'd stay here...

As if in response to the thought, he felt another soft flutter against his Spark.

Starscream raised his free hand to rub against the spot and off-lined his optics once more. _No, I can't. Not right now._

If he died now, at this moment, then he would be taking his Creation with him, and the little one shouldn't have to pay for his crimes anymore than its Sire should have had to.

The Seeker shuddered once more as the full realization of his situation sank in. Alone, with Spark, Skyfire dead, and Primus knew what was being said back at Darkmount concerning what had passed here...

_Primus help me. What am I going to do?_

* * *

Octane cut off his anti-gravs as he reached the bottom of the chasm, a short distance away from the life signal.

 _No point in taking chances_ , the Triplechanger thought as he pulled out a blaster and began moving towards the source. He had no idea who was down here, and he really didn't get want to get caught unawares. Whoever it was he was picking up could well be desperate enough to attack him. Or hungry enough...Octane grimaced at the possibility that it might be an Empty. He'd nearly been surprised by the starving mechs more than once during the course of the war. 

But there was no point in regretting his decision to come down here now, and if the life signal _did_ turn out to be an Empty, then he'd make sure to put it out of its misery. He continued walking forward...

Only to stop a few steps later as he came around the small bend.

_What the frag?!_

His jaw dropped and his blaster arm fell to his side. _Starscream?! But I thought...?_

The gray and purple mech just stared, stunned, at the sight in front of him: the Second in Command of the Decepticons, lying in a curled up ball, one wing bent under him, staring at the ground, one hand over where his Spark chamber was...

But in any case, the mech had all his colors, so it was obvious he wasn't dead. The stunned look on Octane's face morphed into a grin as he thought about what he'd say to Astrotrain and Blitzwing later...

Only to have the smile fade as he remembered what Astro had told him, that Starscream's death had been announced.

 _But it ain't him. It was that other mech...Frag it all, what the Pit happened here?_ the Triplechanger thought, glancing back up in the direction he'd come from.

In any case, one thing was clear to the trader: if this "Galvatron" learned that he'd left Starscream alive, then he'd go after him again the moment Octane showed up with him at Darkmount. And he'd likely go after Octane, too, after he'd finished off Starscream. It wouldn't matter if he claimed ignorance, the trader suspected.

Octane's jaw clenched as he looked back towards the mech on the ground. He'd never really been a friend of Starscream's. He doubted anyone (except maybe that dead mech up there) had ever really had that dubious honor. But he couldn't deny the Seeker had been one Pit of an Air Commander. Not to mention the guy had put up with the...scrapes Octane had gotten into above and beyond what would have been expected of any commander. Octane could think of more than a few who would have thrown him to the cyberwolves for some of the problems he'd caused in the past.

He was supposed to be heading to Darkmount to present himself to the new leader, Octane knew that.

But the Seeker in front of him seemed like he was in a bad way. And not just from the injuries, either, now that Octane thought about it. For some reason, he hadn't made any sign he'd heard the Triplechanger approaching him. To make it worse, there would be no one else besides maybe Dirge showing up at those ruins later. And the Conehead wouldn't think to scan for life signs, Octane knew. _Why would he anyway, after that announcement?_ the Triplechanger thought, with a shake of his head.

After another klik or two of thought, Octane made his decision. He shoved his blaster in his subspace and walked over towards the flier. Carefully moving his arm under the injured wing, he scooped up the Seeker and activated his anti-gravs. He'd fly through the chasm as far as he could, then head the rest of the way to his ship by foot. Once he got the Seeker into one of the few passenger rooms he had, he'd lock up both the room and the ship and head over to Darkmount to offer his services to Galvatron. After which, he'd let Astro and Blitz know what he'd found. Maybe Acid, too, as he was going to need the Seeker's help in coming up with a plausible excuse to get off the planet. After that, he'd get Starscream to a medic he knew of on an old colony world, a medic that owed him more than a few favors.

 _But first things first_ , Octane thought as he maneuvered his way carefully through the chasm, a non-responsive Starscream in his arms.

_Hang in there, Commander._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaah, I may have laid that on pretty thick. But it will get better, I promise.


	3. Darkness Before Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay for this one. Had a good idea of what i wanted after a certain point, but it was a difficult go getting it to that point. However, it is finally here and I hope you all enjoy, even if it is a little longer chapter than what you're used to. ^_^
> 
> Final chapter should be out in a few months.

* * *

_“It is always darkest just before the day dawneth.”_ – Thomas Fuller

* * *

"Are you out of your mind?" Astrotrain hissed.

Octane just looked levelly at the purple Triplechanger. "Do I look like Blitzwing?" he replied.

Astrotrain just shook his head. Right after that last comm. of Octane's, he and Blitz had been relieved of duty by the Coneheads. They'd headed straight for Darkmount, hoping to be there to meet their comrade when he arrived. They hadn't thought the wait would be too long, given that the gray and purple mech usually never parked his ship more than a few kliks away from the base. But they'd ended up waiting about five breems longer than usual.

When Octane had finally arrived, he and the others had gone straight to Galvatron's throne room, where Octane had formally presented himself as one of the army procurers. Galvatron had made some snide comment about seeing how well he could earn his keep following the battle he was about to lead them in. His two henchmechs (and somehow, Astrotrain couldn't see them as anything _but_ that) just looked at all three of them dismissively. The purple Triplechanger would be honest, he'd wanted to slug both of them for their attitudes. Then he'd remembered what had happened to Starscream...

Octane, though, had somehow kept his cool, strangely for him. Even Blitzwing had commented over the comms. about it. He'd simply nodded and said he would do his best to prove worthy of Galvatron's opinion. When the other mech had just waved him off and turned back to his battle plans, Oc had bowed and then turned and left the room, Astrotrain and Blitz in tow.

Then they'd gotten back to their quarters, and it was then that Octane spilled what had happened after that comm. call. And what his plans actually were...

And now Astrotrain wasn't sure whether to think his friend had somehow developed Blitz's processor damage, or just simply had the biggest bearings that he'd ever seen. Because it took a lot of those to stand in front of someone who'd just reduced another mech to so much ash and pretend to claim loyalty, he thought. Not to mention shooting one's mouth off about who he'd found to someone else while in the same proximity as Soundwave, the guy who'd gotten the one mech killed in the first place.

Speaking of Soundwave...

"Given you told us out loud what happened, I'd say yeah," he replied wearily, rubbing at his optics. At Octane's glare, he shook his head again as he continued, "Soundwave is on base, and he's the one who sold out Starscream's whereabouts, according to Acid Storm."

Octane froze and the glare faded from his face. "Frag."

"Yeah, frag," agreed Astrotrain glumly. He sat heavily down on his berth. "For what it's worth, though, he also said that Rumble didn't react well when Galvatron made that announcement. And Hook looked like he wanted to punch Soundwave."

Octane did a double-take at that, knowing as he did that Hook and Rumble weren't Starscream's biggest fans. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

Blitzwing now spoke up, sounding more lucid than he usually did. "I've just comm.ed Acid Storm, and told him what you've told us. He's on his way over, and he didn't seem happy."

"Not surprising, considering Octane's put all of us in a bad spot," muttered Astrotrain. If Galvatron ever found out what Octane had done...

"Look...Yeah, I should have told you guys over comms., but what would you have had me do? Leave him there for the Empties to find?" Octane protested. "The guy's a glitch, sure, but he's put up with a lot from us, too. " He looked sharply at Astrotrain. "Putting aside my own scrapes, do I need to remind you about Titan? Yeah, I heard about that. Not to mention that takeover attempt of yours, in which you dragged Blitz along with you." He shook his head. "I'm still not sure why he didn't take you guys apart for that last one, considering Megatron was ready to kill him, thinking you were acting on his orders."

Astrotrain grimaced. "Point made. But you're making a pretty risky gamble here, Oc. You already know what our new _leader_ is capable of. If he ever hears about our former Air Commander's survival...I don't think even Primus himself could save you. Or us, for that matter, if Galvatron suspects for even an astrosecond that we helped."

"That's why I wanted to talk to Acid," admitted Octane, acknowledging his friend's words. "He'll probably be able to give me a hand with the necessary excuse to get away, and keep us all in one piece."

"Tall order, Oc."

"But not impossible. He can't be too thrilled by this whole slagging situation. I mean, strange mechs just appearing out of nowhere? With the kind of weaponry that can disintegrate a mech? Something's not right here and Acid has to know it. Pit, you even know it, Train."

Astrotrain leaned back against the wall. "Yeah, and I heard some other whispers over comm. about this. There's a few who agree with that opinion. But after he announced what he did, and he did show the image of that pile of ash, you ain't gonna find anyone causing trouble. They won't want to end up like Starscream. Or who they think was Starscream, anyway."

Octane opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the sound of the door buzzer.

All three mechs tensed. "Who's there?" called Astrotrain nervously, activating the door comm.

"Who do you think?" came Acid Storm's irritated voice in reply.

Octane couldn't help but feel a wave of relief as Astrotrain sent the signal to open the door and the mottled green Seeker walked in, wings high and tense.

_Time to get this show on the road._

* * *

In the end, the plan they came up with was simple: Dirge had already gone to collect the ashes and take them to the tomb at Kaon, where he'd place them within a pedestal. Per an old tradition (long since out of use, though Galvatron and the others likely wouldn't bother to check on it), any small portable possessions were to be smelted if possible and used as part of the statue placed on the pedestal. Ion Storm and Nova Storm would bring those possessions to Octane's ship using the excuse that they were going to destroy any remnants of the former Air Commander. Acid would then make the suggestion to Galvatron that Octane prove his worthiness by spreading the word to other scattered Decepticons about the new leadership so that they might come and proclaim fealty. Then Octane would take those possessions aboard his ship and get off the planet to wherever he planned on going.

On one thing, though, Acid was quite clear...

 _"He can't be discovered to have survived Galvatron's attack, Octane, or all we're about to do will have been for nothing. Do whatever you have to, say whatever you have to, but make sure no whisper slips out about him being alive. I know you can't keep him aboard your ship forever," the Seeker stated seriously, lifting up his hand to forestall whatever arguments Octane had been about to make, "but for as long as Galvatron lives, Starscream's status_ must _remain 'deactivated'. Make sure he knows this too when he finally comes back to himself."_

Octane had no trouble agreeing to that condition, especially since he doubted Starscream would be wanting to go anywhere for a while, considering how detached from the world he seemed currently. He hadn't even acknowledged the Triplechanger when he'd brought the box the Rainmakers had left at the ship into the Seeker's room. Just sat there staring at the wall with his hand on his cockpit. When he recovered, though...

Well, that would be a problem to be dealt with later, Octane decided, as he activated the engines of his ship.

Right now, they needed to get to that medic.

* * *

_** Stalison Colony, 2 orns later ** _

_Primus, what bleak weather_ , Torchweld thought as he gazed out the window at the acid rain pouring down outside. He shook his head. _I hope no one will need me this night cycle._ Though he doubted very much that would actually happen. Unless it was an extremely serious emergency, none of the mechs or femmes in the colony would venture out into a storm like this. The last time anything like that had happened had been about ten vorns back, when he'd had to deliver a set of twins to one of the flight-framed mechs here. The red and white mech chuckled slightly at the memory. Little ones certainly were no respecters of weather when they chose to arrive, but they'd proven to be healthy, and the family had celebrated their birth. Most of the rest of the colony had, too, he remembered. Sparklings had always been welcomed, no matter how scarce things were. And during a war, it brought some joy in an otherwise dark time. But at least the conflict had never found its way here, which was also something to be grateful for.

With that thought, the medic turned away from the window and headed for his work area, to begin the task of organizing and putting away his med equipment for the day. If no one was coming, it would be best to just close up shop for the night, get some energon and perhaps do a little reading before heading for recharge.

No sooner had he picked up the first scanner then a loud banging was heard at his door.

 _What the frag?_ Torchweld thought, nearly dropping the item he was holding onto the floor, fumbling it a few times before getting a firm hold. It seemed he was wrong about there being no one coming. Still... _Who the Pit could that be?_ None of those living in the colony would pound on his door like that.

Curious and a little annoyed by having his evening plans disrupted, the medic set the scanner down and stormed over to the door. "Hold your charges! I'm coming!" he yelled, as he slammed his hand against the door release. "Who the Pit do you think you...?"

He was cut off as the barrel of a very large blaster appeared in his face as the door opened. He froze.

"Hello, Doc," a smooth voice said. A very _familiar_ voice. Torchweld would have gulped if he could have. "Mind if I come in?"

Slowly, the medic backed up into the room, raising his hands in the air. "Octane," he said nervously as the transport mech followed him in, keeping his weapon trained on him all the way, "what brings you to Stalison?"

Octane chuckled unpleasantly as the door closed behind him. "I'm calling in your debts, Torch. For all the times I covered for you and pulled your aft out of those gambling houses way back when after you ticked off the dealers."

A cold feeling crept up Torchweld's backstrut. "Slag it, Octane! I had no idea they'd try shaking you down, I swear! And Primus, I said before I'd give you those credits I owed you!"

Octane chuckled again. "Fine words, coming from someone who's had to spend what credits they earn from their patients on black market supplies from traders like me." The smirk he wore faded. "Not to mention that excuse got old after the first few times you used it."

His gaze trailed idly around the clinic now. "Hmm...I wonder how much I could get on the black market for some of this stuff. Primus knows both sides could use it," the purple and gray mech went on coolly. His gaze refocused on Torch, and there was nothing but ice in his optics. "It would certainly get me back some of those credits I paid to get my _friend_ out of trouble."

The red and white mech shuddered. He was going to die, he just knew it. He'd known Octane was well-aware of his whereabouts, having led a few of the refugee ships to this colony for a price, and had seen him here. While for whatever reason he'd left him alone up to now, it was clear the the other mech wasn't going to leave him alone any longer.

"Look, Octane," he began, trying to steady his voice. "I said I'd pay you back. You're right," he went on as the Triplechanger's optics narrowed, "I don't have any credits I can spare, but maybe we can come to some kind of agreement?" Though he had no idea what he could do...

The cold look left Octane's optics, only to be replaced with a very thoughtful one. "Hmm...I suppose I _could_ do that," he replied. "In fact, I think I could work with that."

His voice hardened suddenly. "Get your tools, _Doc_. And consider yourself lucky I'm in a reasonable mood. I'll be waiting outside to take you to my ship to help a comrade of mine. And no calling for help," he went on, noticing Torchweld's quick glance to the comm. system on his wall. "Or I'll destroy everything you have here and make sure the colonists know you had a gambling problem once upon a time before I go. Got it?"

Torchweld nodded numbly, well-aware that Octane wasn't making an idle threat. He moved to gather what he needed as the other mech turned and headed back out into the rainy night.

This was going to be a long night cycle.

* * *

"Are you out of your mind?!" Torchweld yelped as he turned and stared at the Triplechanger. When Octane said a comrade of his had needed help, he certainly hadn't expected to see _this_ particular mech. "You brought a _high-ranked Decepticon officer_ here?!"

Octane's gaze was hard. "Yeah, I did." He laid his hand on his blaster holster. "Ya going to renege on our agreement, Torch?"

Torchweld turned his gaze back towards the Seeker and frowned. The mech was conscious, but he seemed very unaware of what was going on around him, if the blankness in his optics were any indication. And that bent wing hinted at possibly some more severe internal damage. He was going to have to do a scan to be sure of that, though.

He off-lined his optics briefly. "No. I'll scan him and see what I can do. But no matter how I look at it, you're going to have to bring him back to the clinic. I don't have the parts or tools required to repair any of the internal strut tears and circuitry damage in my kit."

Octane's smirk faded. "Can't do that, Torch. He's believed to be dead. Can't have anyone finding out he's not." He sounded nervous.

Now _that_ was unexpected. Torchweld on-lined his optics and turned to the other mech with a raised browridge. "Really?"

Octane just clamped his mouth shut and looked away.

Torchweld's mouth became a thin line. "I'll scan him, but you're going to tell me the story. Then we can figure out something." He pulled his kit out of his subspace and reached for one of his best scanners.

Behind his back, Octane grimaced, but then shook his head and began to talk.

Torchweld listened with half his attention as he ran his scanner over the Seeker. So far his results were coming back as he expected: Some broken wires and circuits, struts and frame of the wing strained almost to the limit. While there was some scuffed up paint and scratches, those were nothing that self-repair couldn't fix in time. The wing was the biggest concern. He ran his scanner over the rest of the jet's body to be sure there was nothing he'd missed...

And the scanner beeped as he ran it over the mech's chest. The medic paused as he looked at the scanner results. He frowned, then lifted his gaze to the Seeker's optics, which were clouded and blank. He reached up to tap on the jet's chest...

Only to be stopped by a blue hand grasping around his wrist. Once more, Torchweld looked at the Decepticon's optics.

They were no longer blank, a trace of lucidity was there, and his expression was fearful and angry. _"Don't_ ," the Seeker hissed.

"Starscream, what the Pit are you...?" Octane now spoke up, taking a step forward. Torchweld turned to look at the other mech's face. His expression indicated he hadn't expected this, either. He shook his head at the Triplechanger. "I can handle this, Octane."

Octane looked doubtful. "You sure?"

Torchweld nodded, then turned his optics back to meet Starscream's. He motioned towards one of the red crosses on his shoulders with his scanner. The jet caught the motion and followed it. Seeing this, Torchweld spoke in a serious tone. "I give my word as a medic that I will not cause any harm to your Spark or that of the little one," he said, ignoring the sharp noise that came from behind him. "Will you allow me to scan that young Spark to see how it is doing?"

For a long klik, the Seeker just stared at him. Then he released the medic's wrist, and leaned back just slightly. A moment later, his chestplates opened, and the medic took a look inside...

* * *

"Newspark's at least two orns developed, judging from the size of it," Torchweld said a few kliks later, outside of Starscream's quarters. "No more than three at the very most."

Octane shook his head. "Frag it all. I had no idea he was...Slag it, Torch, he never shares a berth with anyone. And he's never been known to share his Spark."

The medic smirked slightly. "Apparently he did at least once recently." The smirk faded away. "Likely with that mech whose remains you found. It would explain the detachment he's experiencing. I would guess he witnessed the death, just as you suspected."

"Was he bonded?" Octane knew that could happen when a mech or femme survived the death of their Conjunx. He'd heard of it before.

Torchweld shook his head. "No, there was no trace of a broken bond."

He rubbed at his optics. "I know what you think of the idea, Octane, but he is going to have to stay here for a time. At least until the Sparkling is born."

"Slag it all, Torch...!"

Torchweld lifted his hand. "Hear me out, Octane. Like I told you, I don't have all the parts I require to repair his wing in my kit. And not only that, over his Carrying period, he's going to need a higher amount of energon than his frametype usually requires, not to mention the metal supplements required to build the frame of the Newspark. Plus, there may be surgery required to enlarge his frame, depending on what kind of frame type the Sparkling ends up taking. All this over a course of approximately one hundred thirty orns. Can you say honestly you'll be able to have all of this done by multiple medics in secrecy?"

Octane grimaced and then rubbed at his optics with a sigh. "Fine. And I'll see what I can do to cover what you need without raising suspicion. This was a lot more than I expected, Doc."

"I imagine," Torchweld said grimly. "I have a private ward in the back of the clinic. I usually keep my most serious cases there. I will have to bring my assistant in on this, but he's a Seeker, so he'll be likely to keep his mouth shut. He may not like Decepticons, but he does understand why other Seekers chose that path, considering Vos. Plus, the fact that your charge is carrying a Sparkling will be enough to keep him quiet. He doesn't care for the idea of a young one paying for its parent's actions."

Octane shook his head. "Thanks, Weld. Sorry about earlier."

Torchweld just shook his own head ruefully. "Don't worry about it. Given the circumstances, I can understand why you acted as you did. Fear is a strong motivator."

Octane nodded. "Okay then. Let's get him back to your clinic and situated in that ward before the morning cycle, shall we?"

Torchweld chuckled and shook his own head.

_This is going to be quite an interesting one hundred thirty orns._

* * *

_Not much longer._

Starscream reached up to rub at his chest again.

He'd been afraid when that mech had reached for his cockpit, afraid that he would harm Skyfire's Sparkling. Afraid that this mech would hurt the little one. And he _couldn't_ let that happen.

_No..._

But he hadn't. He'd shown the jet he was a medic, one who would _help_ the Sparkling.

A soft smile crossed his face.

Yes, the medic would help the Sparkling.

He would help bring the little one into the world.

And then...

Then Starscream would do what he needed to do.

What was necessary.

And fitting for a murderer.

And his Sparkling wouldn't have to grow up with that knowledge.

_I'm sorry, little one._


	4. From the Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, folks, the final chapter of From the Ashes. Been a while due to various projects and real life, but it is finally over. Hope this will meet to everyone's satisfaction.
> 
> There are a few time skips in here, though I tried to indicate the length of time in each section. Did this as I didn't want to cover the entire length of Starscream's Carrying period. Would have been a bit too long otherwise.
> 
> May all of you who've followed enjoy this final chapter.

* * *

_“All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”_ ― Cormac McCarthy, _The Road_

* * *

"Torchweld, it's been fifty orns."

The medic of Stalison colony looked up at his assistant's face, sighing inwardly at the stern look he saw on it.  _Not this argument again..._

Aloud, he said, "I am well aware of how long it's been, Quickwing."  He turned back to putting away his tools, in preparation for closing up for the night.  "And as I've said before, unless he pulls out of the stupor on his own, there is nothing we can do beyond what we have been.  Depression is a tricky enough state among organic races, from what little I know from off-world contacts.  For our people, it's more insidious as our memories do not just disappear unless there has been some kind of wipe.  Which I won't do without his permission, I might add.  He's caught in a memory loop, and those, as you've learned from other patients we've had, are tricky enough to work around."

The silver and white Seeker referred to as Quickwing let out a huff from his intakes.  "I know, I know.  It's just..." He glanced to the closed door of the ward.  "Primus, Torch.  He should be feeling the Sparkling trying to form a bond by now at this stage in its development.  I would have thought he'd show _some_ response to that.  Other Carriers have, no matter what their mental state.  We've had widowed Carriers in here before, or those who have only been living together and have lost the partner."

Torchweld nodded.  "True," he replied softly.  "But I can't recall any of those patients being depressed beforehand, as Octane's story suggested may have been the case.  Plus, according to that same story, there is good cause to believe that he saw the Sire die in front of him."

Quickwing conceded the point with a sigh.  "Even so, we have to look at the long-term, Torch.  His 'death' was announced by Galvatron, and that image of the ash pile was shown.  He can't go out in public again after the Sparkling is born."

"I know.  Octane says that this was made clear to him by Starscream's Vice-Air Commander as well, prior to the general announcement."  He finished putting his tools away and turned back to his assistant.  "I have actually been thinking about that, Quickwing."

"I see."  Quickwing suddenly felt a little guilty about bringing this up again.  He should have known that his mentor would have been trying to look for solutions to the problem they had.  "Have you come up with any solutions?"

"I have thought of a couple possibilities," Torchweld admitted, rubbing at his optics.  "If he recovers in some way, we'll discuss the situation personally with him.  But if he doesn't, then..."  He sighed.  "Then we'll just have to put the Sparkling up for adoption.  Say it's a war orphan that Octane brought in to me.  He's here often enough that the story won't be questioned much.  There are fliers here at the colony, some who're trying for Creations of their own, so there's no doubt the Sparkling will be adopted quickly enough.  Though it might only work if the little one looks more like its Sire."

"And what of Starscream?"

"Repaint him and have him transported under an alias to a world that is better suited to dealing with such states than we are.  I know it's not an ideal solution," he said, raising his hand as Quickwing seemed about to object, "but given what we have to work with, it's the best we'll likely be able to do."

"We'd also have to give the false designation in the birth record.  And let Octane know what we've done," Quickwing pointed out after thinking it over briefly.  He didn't like it either, but as Torchweld said, there really weren't any other workable options.

"I know.  But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  Primus willing, we won't have to, but for now, let's just focus on getting this little one safely born," Torchweld replied, an ancient, world-weary look in his optics.  He'd seen a lot in his long life, but this had to be one of the saddest cases he'd ever seen.  And while he'd found himself hoping for a miracle, he'd grown more worried as the orns had dragged on and Starscream showed no signs of regaining any real lucidity since the one moment he'd grabbed Torch's wrist.  He just sat in that catatonic state in the back emergency ward, staring at the wall and taking in the metal supplements and energon through a line, once it became obvious that he seemed unable or unwilling to feed himself.  There were times he did seem aware of either he or Quickwing when they came in, but no real strong reaction.  It was like he was just letting things happen to him. 

And the longer it went on, the less chance there would be of any recovery.  Which was why, deep down, Torchweld hoped the Sparkling's birth would wake the former Decepticon from his stupor.  The medic truly would prefer not to separate a Creation from its parent, particularly if there was only the one left.

But that was not in his hands.  He shook his head.  "Time to lock up.  You get home to your partner and I'll make sure that our patient is comfortable for the night before I head for recharge."

Quickwing sighed.  "Of course.  And if you need me, I'll be on call."

With a nod, Torchweld bid his assistant goodnight, locked up the clinic and then went to the back ward to check on the Seeker.  Keying in the code for the room, he stepped in as soon as the door swooshed open to reveal a Seeker half-reclining on the medberth at the far end of the room, gazing at the wall across from him with clouded, unfocused optics.  As usual, a hand lay directly over where his Spark chamber was located.

Torchweld sighed as he pulled a scanner he now usually kept with him out of his subspace and walked over to his patient.  Activating the scanner, and setting in for a deeper scan, he ran it over Starscream, nodding in satisfaction as the results came back.  The first indications of a frame were finally making themselves apparent around the Newspark, meaning that over the next orn or two they would need to be increasing the levels and the richness of the supplements that would allow the frame and circuitry to properly develop further.  That was a good sign. Spark resonance had also developed enough that it seemed like the little one had decided to be a mechling.  There were also indications that a Creation bond was trying to form, just as Quickwind had surmised.  Another good sign, at least under other circumstances, as it indicated the Newspark was very likely to be healthy and strong. 

But in this case, good health or no, there was no way of knowing if the bond would take, or if it did, how its...no, his...Carrier would respond to feeling him there.  If he responded to him at all...

Pushing that thought away for the moment, Torchweld went over to the datapad chart at the foot of the berth and downloaded the new information into it, making a note at the same time to make the adjustments to the Seeker's nutrients.  Then he checked the lines and Spark monitor that were attached to the flier's arms.  Again, all vitals came back as good.  Once more, Torchweld added that information to the file.

Smiling sadly at Starscream, he spoke to him when he was done, as he and Quickwing always did, in the hopes that he was hearing them.  "Sparkling is coming along well.  Shouldn't be much longer before we need to make the changes to your frame to allow him to grow.  But that can wait for now.  I'll...see you in the morning cycle," he finished.

No response.  Torchweld shook his head once more.

Without another word, he turned and left the room, closing and sealing the room behind him.  Leaning against the door, he rubbed at his optics.  Something needed to be done, and soon.

He just hoped that Primus came through with that miracle.

Because by this time, there was no doubt that they needed it.

* * *

Starscream barely noticed as the medic left, too focused on the one thought circulating in his head.

_Soon._

He rubbed at the area over his Spark idly.  Before much longer, the Sparkling would be born, and then he could join Skyfire.  If Primus would even allow him to...

Starscream keened very softly, making a sound for the first time in fifty orns.

As if in response, at the back of his mind, he felt a soft, gentle nudge.

Inwardly, he flinched.  _No._

No, he couldn't, he couldn't form a bond with Skyfire's little one.  He couldn't taint it, like he'd damaged everything else he'd ever touched in his life...

It would be better off not linking to him, not knowing anything about him...

Growing up in ignorance that it was the Creation of a murderer.

_Soon now._

_Soon..._

* * *

"Anything today?"

Quickwing shook his head in response to Torchweld's question as he stepped inside the clinic after his completion of rounds.  "No.  As usual."  He lifted his hands in a helpless gesture.  "It's hard to know what to do, Torch.  I've taken to talking to him more, telling him not only about the progress of the Sparkling, but what's going on in the colony or the news that filters through about the universe at large.  Anything I can think of to try and get him to respond.  But he doesn't.  And when he _does_ look at me, he just seems to be looking right through me."

Torchweld's expression became grim.  Starscream was now eighty-three orns along, and the Sparkling was developing very well indeed.  The frame was now very pronounced and protoform and internal workings were being constructed at a very good pace.  The chamber had completely developed around the small Spark, and it was pulsing at a normal rate.  Unfortunately, one couldn't say the same about its parent, who seemed to be drifting further and further away by the orn.

It was something Torch didn't like much.  Over the past few orns, he'd begun to wonder if Starscream was only holding on for the sake of the Sparkling.  He'd done some digging into records concerning Spark-bonded mechs, even knowing Starscream hadn't been bonded to the Sire of the mechling he was carrying.  What he'd found bothered him.  Some of the mechs and femmes who'd displayed very similar behavior to Starscream managed some semblance of recovery, while others had tried to end their lives, unable to stand the hollow feeling in their Sparks any longer.  It was disturbing how similar their described behavior was to Starscream's.  It made him wonder just how deeply the mech's feelings for the dead Sire had run...

"Have we heard from Octane?"  His assistant's voice broke into his ponderings.

Torchweld pushed aside the thoughts for a later time and responded to Quickwing as he sat down in a nearby chair.  "Yes.  I got a message from him about three day cycles ago.  He'll be swinging by here in about another orn with general supplies and will have some medical supplies in there for us."

Quickwing nodded.  "Have you ever told him what we've decided to do in a worst-case scenario?"

"I did.  On his last visit here about fifteen orns back."

"And?"

Torchweld leaned back in his seat.  "He didn't like it, but he agreed that he wouldn't be able to raise a Sparkling and run his business at the same time, so felt it would likely be a good idea for us to do as we planned.  As long as he got to hear about how the bratlet was doing from time to time.  His words, not mine," he finished, seeing his fellow medic's optics narrow slightly.

"As for Starscream...He said that if it did come to that, all he'd ask was to make sure the recolors and alias were as far from his original ones as possible, and he'd raise no objections.  The war has heated up in a big way again, he says, and Galvatron is considered to be completely insane now."

Quickwing frowned.  "How bad?"

Torchweld's face darkened as he replied, "He was apparently going to use some kind of crystal to destroy Cybertron, according to what he said."

His assistant just stared and shook his head.  " _Primus_.  He wanted to destroy a planet?  His own home one?"

"I know.  I couldn't quite believe it myself when Octane told me."  He leaned forward now.  "But at least we know we can go ahead with what we've decided if worst comes to worst."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

Torchweld glanced towards the back ward, doubt appearing in his optics.  As much as he still wanted to hope for a miracle, with what he'd learned he was starting to feel less sure that such would take place.

"We'll see, Quickwing...," He shook his head, worry in his tone.  "We'll see."

* * *

_Soon..._

Starscream just lay back against the berth, his optics having now shifted from the wall in front of him to the ceiling.  He moved his hand over his chest, frame now wider and larger thanks to the surgeries the medics had to do to accommodate the frame of the Sparkling.  It had been painful when he'd woken, but that hadn't mattered much.  It meant the Sparkling was growing, that it was that much closer to him leaving this world.

And he'd endured worse physical pain, after all.  This would be brief, all things considered...

He felt another push against the back of his mind, the presence not his own feeling stronger...

_No.  Please stop._

The pressure continued.

His optics dimmed.  _Why do you keep trying, little one?  You shouldn't._

Starscream couldn't understand why the Sparkling kept trying to reach him.

He wished he could make it understand that his soul was tainted, and he would do the same to it if it bonded with him.

Yet in spite of himself, there was a part of him that wished otherwise, that wanted to feel the little's ones emotions, and to know what it was like to feel _bright_ again.

 _No._   His optics off-lined.

No, it was impossible.  He couldn't do that, let the Sparkling feel him, only to lose that link.

It wouldn't be fair to it.

His hand rubbed at his chest again, feeling the heat of the developing frame.

_Not much longer..._

* * *

It was a gasp that alerted Quickwing.

He looked down at Starscream.  About three breems ago, after the most recent patient had left, he'd come into the ward to check on the Seeker, as per usual.  He or Torchweld had been coming in here a little more often over the past few orns as it grew closer to the end of the normal Carrying period of one hundred thirty-two orns.  Torchweld had felt that due to the appearance of the frame, it was very likely to come early.

And judging by the look on Starscream's normally expressionless face, it seemed that it might have.  Three orns early.

Quickwing pulled out his scanner and ran it over the Seeker.  He looked at the results as they came in.

It seemed the thin tendril between the parent and infant spark was beginning to separate.

Quickwing's expression became grim as he went and quickly grabbed the necessary tools.  As he did, he opened up the comm. to his mentor.

_::Torchweld, it's time...::_

* * *

Starscream felt a surge of panic rise in him as the separation began, some of it strangely not feeling like his own.

_Primus, what's happening?!_

As if in response, the red and white medic appeared in front of him, an odd looking tool in his hand.  The medic seemed to be searching his face for something.  Whatever he saw made him nod.  He turned to the silver and white Seeker who stood nearby.

"Quickwing, get the smaller medberth and make sure the clinic is locked for now."  As the other mech nodded and moved away to obey the medic's commands, the red and white mech turned back to Starscream and spoke to him.

"Starscream, I need you to open your chestplates for me.  Your little one has decided to make his appearance now."

_His?  A mechling?_

Starscream shook that information off, though, as he realized what the medic was saying.

It was coming.  That was good.  That meant he could do what needed to be done very soon now...

Without another thought, he opened his chestplates, and the medic reached inside, activating the tool as he did so, a tool that Starscream could see now seemed to be a laser scalpel.  He wearily off-lined his optics and lifted his face to the ceiling...

Only to find them coming back on about half a klik later as the sounds of what seemed to be angry-sounding clicks came to his audial sensors, followed by a chuckle. 

"Unhappy about leaving the nice, safe darkness, are we, young one?" Starscream heard the medic say in what seemed to be an amused tone as his chestplates slid closed.

"So it would seem," the other mech replied, also sounding amused.

"Hold him if you would, Quickwing, while I check his vitals," the medic replied, his tone serious.

Starscream couldn't bring himself to look in the direction of the noises he was hearing, the clicking and the beep of a scanner as it ran over the source of the clicking sounds.  A moment later he felt a touch to his arm, and the silver and white mech appeared in his line of sight, a concerned look on his face.

"Would you like to see your Creation?"  he asked.

Starscream felt torn.  For all he hadn't wanted to form a bond with the Sparkling, as the time grew closer and closer, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to see it when it...him...when the time of the birth came.

Perhaps he _should_ look upon the little one.  It would be one good memory for him to take to the afterlife with him...

And he could tell Skyfire what he looked like when they met again.

He nodded, and reached out his arms...

And found himself staring at the Sparkling as soon as it was laid in them.

_Primus...He looks like Skyfire..._

The Sparkling truly did.  From what Starscream could see of the little one that wasn't wrapped up in the light green blanket, the coloration was predominantly white, with Skyfire's helm shape and features.  The wing nubs, which Starscream shifted his hand along the back to feel, were square-shaped, indicating that his flightframe would be that of a shuttle.  The only differences were his forearms and hands, which were his very shade of blue, and his optics, which were a rich shade of violet.

He was beautiful, the perfect combination of he and Skyfire.  There was no doubt of that.

Once more, Starscream felt the push against his mind.

He looked down at the Sparkling, who was now quiet and had a questioning look in his optics.

Something in Starscream broke as he gazed down on that face so much like Skyfire's, and for the first time, he let the barrier down, and let himself feel his Sparkling's emotions, sending his own pulse of acknowledgement.

The little one began to grin, then chirped excitedly.

Starscream, though, wasn't paying attention to that, more focused on what he was feeling:  the unbridled happiness and love that only a Sparkling could have.  Then he felt something else...

A sense of trust.

Once more, Starscream started, and he looked again at the Sparkling, who was now doing his level best to burrow himself into his Carrier's chest, chirping all the while.

_Oh, Primus..._

"Seems like he knows his Creator," a voice said.  Starscream looked up to see the medic staring at him, still with the serious look on his face.  He met Starscream's optics.  "A word of advice:  a Sparkling doesn't know anything beyond what it feels and how it's being treated during its first few vorns.  They don't care what their Creators may or may not have done before.  All they want is to be with their Creators, nothing more or less."

He smiled.  "And it seems like this little mechling is the same way."

Starscream just stared at the medic briefly, then turned his gaze down towards the Sparkling in his arms who was still trying to nestle into him, letting the words he'd just heard sink in.

The little one trusted him.

_Him._

One who'd broken so many other trusts in his life.

One who'd destroyed so many other lives, including this little one's Sire...

He felt his Spark ache.

 "He doesn't care, Starscream," the mech called Quickwing said gently to him now.

Starscream just kept staring at his Sparkling, then gripped him close, keening softly.

Neither medic moved or said anything for a few kliks, just allowing Starscream his chance to grieve.

 _::Seems the corner has been turned::_ , Quickwing sent over the comms.

 _::So it would seem::_ , Torchweld replied, with a note of relief.  Never again would he doubt Primus, he thought.

Pulling a blank datapad out of his subspace, he downloaded the Sparkling's vital stats to it, then he tapped Starscream's arm.

Starscream looked up at the medic, optics full of emotion.

Torchweld smiled again, this time sadly.  It was going to be some time before this mech healed, he thought, but at least it seemed they'd won that time.

He spoke.  "We need a designation for your Sparking's medfile," he said.  "Have you thought of one?"

Starscream looked back down at his Sparkling.  The little one had now stopped nestling into him and seemed to be slipping into recharge, one of his little hands gripping at Starscream's chest.

_"Stay safe, both of you."_

He looked so much like Skyfire, and Skyfire had saved both their lives.  If Skyfire hadn't pushed him...

Then he wouldn't be holding this small being, Skyfire's living image.

He smiled slightly.  It would be only right if his sacrifice was acknowledged. 

After a few kliks, he finally settled on what seemed an appropriate designation.

Starscream looked back up at the medic.

"Skyblaze. His designation is Skyblaze."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reference regarding Galvatron wanting to use crystals to destroy Cybertron comes from the S3 episode [Chaos](http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Chaos_\(episode\)).
> 
> And for those who like this series, there will be more about Skyblaze, but due to real life, likely not until next year.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who might have noticed, yes. I did use some of the dialogue and words from Ghosts. While they are both in separate series, I did want to link them slightly.


End file.
